I want to share something that I have found that is an
encouragement for me. I hope it may be an encouragement for you as well.
If you have been following this blog for any time you will
know that I have had difficulty with the way church is done. With that in mind
it will not be surprising to many that I have not been able to find a church
home for many years. This has been a real source of sorrow for me, because I do
want to be a part of an expression of the body of Christ where I can contribute
and receive spiritual nourishment.
After some unhappy experiments and lonely times, I think I might
have come to a workable solution for me. I know that a lot of people are saying,
“It’s not all about you.” Well, if I am not being fed and I am not being able
to serve in a way that seems meaningful to me, if the church service is only
stressful for me, then it is about
me. I won’t go on the guilt trip about being faithful to your church and not
forsaking the assembly. You are not the only ones trying to follow Christ
Jesus. End Rant.
As I have been struggling with this problem, I have also
been finding ways to be fed outside of my own Bible Study and prayer time. In
the United States and as I understand in many other countries there is an amazing
availability of good teachers on the internet. Some of these include Brian
Zahnd (Word of Life Church), Greg Boyd (Woodland Hills Christian Church) and
Bruxy Cavey (The Meeting House) (an Anabaptist church). With the exception of
Bruxy, the other two are non-denominational churches. There are many more besides
these that are simply teaching how to become disciples of Jesus. These have
been a source of spiritual nourishment for me for the last few years.
The last 2 parts of my solution have come rather serendipitously.
A few weeks ago, we were checking out of Walmart and there was a young woman
ahead of us getting a little frustrated with the self-check system. Jeannie
assured her that we were not in a hurry and this began a conversation. She was
getting groceries for a weekly dinner and Christian meeting at her home. And
she invited us to come. So, we showed up that evening and it was nothing like
the home Bible studies/home church meetings I had imagined. Everyone was
friendly though pretty reserved. Give and take during the Bible study time was
not very much. However, here was a group that had been meeting for almost a
year and was still coming back every week. Thousands of points for sticking
with it. We have continued to go and get to know individuals a little at a time
and I believe we will continue to go. This is meeting a need for community.
The final piece may blow some minds and generate some
comments. It may drive some evangelicals to take me off your list. I’m sorry
about that. The next Sunday morning we were sitting at home, each involved in
different things when I got an urge and told Jeannie, “I’m going to go to
church.” We hadn’t attended any church for several weeks and were pretty
content with that. She asked me where and I announced, “The Episcopal Church.”
So, that is where I went. I went for communion. I can tell you that unless you
have attended a high Church service you may not understand what I am talking
about. At the Episcopal Church where I went, and continue to go, Communion is
the focus of the service. Everything leads to communion. That is exactly what I
need.
My whole life I have had the idea that your church should be
sort of a one stop shop for all your spiritual needs. Sort of like a spiritual
Super Walmart. That doesn’t work for me and hasn’t for quite a while. There are
many things I could say about this but my conclusion is that by taking
advantage of 3 separate resources my spiritual needs are being met.
If you are having difficulty finding peace where you are
this may be a helpful solution. You may find that a separate Bible Study
outside your local church family will add the thing you need, or you may need
to combine on line teachers. It may be some combination. Whatever solution
presents itself, prayerfully reach out and see if God will bless it.
I hope this is helpful, in any case: Be Faithful.
