For Keri

Here are some thoughts about the article you shared. It seems a little rambly I hope it’s not too disconnected. (ref; christianityfortherestofus.com; “Disillusioned Christian”)

Disillusioned Christian. A very interesting and thoughtful article. I found myself identifying with much of what he said. However even though for some time now I have felt disillusioned about the church system I have not become disillusioned with Jesus. I still believe what I have believed for a long time about him and in many ways very similar to what much of main line Christianity professes.

There have been times when I just wanted to chuck it all in and walk away. It didn’t work! The truth is it didn’t and doesn’t work the way I was always taught. The feel-good religion is a lie. That’s not to say that there are no good feelings. But, the reality of the gospel message does not make me giddy. The rhythmic music and the entertaining speeches are enjoyable but they are not a help in the daily life.

Money is a little like truth. When you have 3 or 4 Benjamin’s in your pocket you know you can handle most of life’s regular situations. Truth is like that only better. To handle those daily situations you will need to sacrifice some of those Bens. To get through the day the truth is you will need to give up some other things as well.

For myself at some time I realized that my plans and my strategy was yielding some pretty unsatisfactory results. What are the alternatives? The religious system is all I have known for over 60 years. Heaven and Hell are not big motivators. A life that works; now that could get me excited. Over the years I have seen some people who seemed to be successful in their life. I am talking about success in the difficulties not without difficulties. I am talking about people like Steve Saint (The End of the Spear) or Corrie Ten Boom (The Hiding Place). These are real people and they found their strength and their direction as they looked at Jesus. I have known some similar people as well although their lives were not filled with so much public drama, still they succeeded by looking to Jesus following his example and obeying his commands.

Jesus is much more than a Bible story. He is a real person whose life is revealed little by little throughout the Bible. I cannot know him by just reading about him. I must learn by obeying what he says, and follow the example I see in the Bible. As I am doing this I am experiencing better results. Also, as I am doing this it is requiring that I change my behavior, thoughts and attitudes in many ways I never expected or would have been willing to change. Truth demands sacrifice!

So in the mean time I am not sure where I belong when it comes to churches, but wherever I am I know that my focus is on following Jesus and learning how to obey his commands.

There are still no easy answers. J

Here is a little of how it is working, sort of, for me. In one paragraph he speaks of staying silent or shouting angrily at no one in particular (The great nameless faceless “they”) I have found or I believe God has shown me an answer to this. I do not like the answer but I believe it is the answer for me.

Isa 42:1-4 The LORD says, "Here is my servant, whom I strengthen--- the one I have chosen, with whom I am pleased. I have filled him with my Spirit, and he will bring justice to every nation. He will not shout or raise his voice or make loud speeches in the streets. He will not break off a bent reed nor put out a flickering lamp. He will bring lasting justice to all. He will not lose hope or courage; he will establish justice on the earth. Distant lands eagerly wait for his teaching."

Matthew quotes this when he is writing about Jesus in Matthew 12:18. For me this works in that as I want to be like Jesus, I need to find the way to conform my life, thoughts and attitudes to this. So for a while now I have been thinking about it. I especially think about it when things are said by those I care about that I believe are damaging things to be saying. (Facebook!) I know that mostly people do not want to be corrected. I don’t! So I get to be quiet or not respond directly. Often I simply get to pray and think about my own life. This is a response I don’t enjoy because I want to do something, but I know it is the right response. Someone may ask for my thoughts and hopefully I will be able to share them in a way that is helpful.

In the next paragraph he says he’s stuck and not making progress. I suspect that this may not be true if he is sincerely seeking. It sometimes takes a lot of work to get a garden ready to produce a good crop. In our lives as well sometimes we do a lot of work that doesn’t appear evident for some time. Sharpening the hoe and collecting seeds doesn’t look like anything in the garden patch but they are necessary, doing them is progress toward the crop. The most productive thing I have ever done in this regard is to memorize and meditate on Matthew 5:3-9. When I began and for a long time it didn’t seem like I was accomplishing anything. But as I thought about the meanings of the words I saw the wisdom and aspired to be conformed to those virtues. As I did this I suppose I was praying, and little by little I have begun to see changes. It is very slow, but it is progress.

I would dearly love to find others who want to follow Jesus and become more and more like him. I am not offended by many church services, but I am seldom helped either. It is a matter of a community sharing our struggles and accepting that we are individually in different places and that we each have our own understanding of how it works; how God wants to work in our lives. I believe following and obeying Jesus is the way and I don’t think that will change, but I am pretty sure that screaming that into your face won’t convince you and it certainly isn’t making me any more like him.

So those are some of my thoughts. I hope they are understandable and that you may find some encouragement for your life there.